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Seeking Effective Emotional Abuse Counseling

By Patty Goff


Abuse can be defined as any behavior that is planned to defeat or control people through of fright, verbal or corporal assault and embarrassment. Emotional abuse counseling is considered as any kind of assistance offered to individual abused that is perceived to inflict emotional pain rather than physical in nature. This may include anything ranging from verbal abuse to constant criticism to more subtle tactics like manipulation, intimidation and refusal to ever be pleased.

It is perceived as a strategy used in wearing out the self-concept, self-confidence and self-worth of people involved by rendering their emotions and perceptions invalid. The possible outcome from such situations are often similar despite the strategy employed such as consistent in intimidation, belittling and under guise advice, teaching or guidance. This results into loss of senses and personal values which often creates a scar that is long-lasting and deeper compared to physical abuse.

Emotional abuse can be categorized into three major dimensions. That is denying, minimizing and aggressive. Aggressive is viewed as a form of emotional abuse such as name calling, accusing, blaming, threatening and ordering the victim.

Aggressive abuse may also takes a direct form where abuser may be disguised as helping. They criticize offers solution, advising, probing, analyzing and questioning another person may be a sincere attempt to assist. In some situations, such behaviors may try to control, belittle or degrade rather than helping. The underlying principle being I know it beat attitude. This situation is not appropriate thereby subjecting unequal footing in a peer relationship.

This takes a picture in which an abuser may be distinguished as a helper. In their effort to deliver such assistance, they might criticizes, analyses, advising or offers solutions as well as questioning their sincerity of offering such help. This behavior is seen as attempts to belittle, demean or control the victims rather than proving help. Individuals giving such assistance often have the I known it all perception. This is inappropriate as it creates unequal footing.

The first form of denial occurs by invalidation whereby the abuser tends to distorts or undermines the perception of the victim about the world. This can be witnessed in a situation where the recipient may confront the abuser about an incident and the abusers insisting that they did not say such information or are not aware of things being said.

Minimizing is perceived to be a less form of denial. This is where the abuser my not deny a particular event or action but question the reaction to an event or emotional experiences of the recipient. This may include statements such as you are exaggerating, you are sensitive, you are blowing it out of proportion. This is like suggesting that the perception and emotions of recipient should not be trusted.

Trivializing occurs when a person or abuser argues that things said or done by the victims are inconsequential or not important. It is considered as a more subtle of minimization. Significantly, denying and minimizing can be damaging to those subjected to emotional abuse. It may result into lowering self esteem, creating conflict, invalidation of reality, feelings and experiences leading to individuals questioning as well as mistrusting their perceptions and emotions about experiences.




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