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Legal Don't Mean Pretty: How To Get Rid Of Weed Smell

By Mickey Jhonny


We here at How to Get Rid of Weed Smell, of course, do not promote illegal activities. However, there are now so many jurisdictions in the U.S. in which pot has been decriminalized, either for medical or even recreational purposes, that a concern with getting rid of the rather distinctive odor is just a matter of good decorum.

I mean, if you're having the boss or the neighbors, or even the parents, over for dinner, not everyone is yet comfortable with the smoking of marijuana for any reason, even if it is legal. So, you can waste your time, launching an indoctrination campaign, trying to convert the values and preferences of others to reflect your own values and preferences - an endeavor equally as notable for its futility as for its vanity - or you can just make the effort to not rub your personal practices into the noses of those who'd rather just not know.

My rule of thumb is, if it happens in personal space it can quite nicely just stay in personal space. That is kind of the whole point of personal space, isn't it?

The irony though is that many of us today who are conscientious about the virtue of aromatic discretion had our first experience with such matters under quite different circumstances. In my youth, and my hometown, pot was certainly illegal, though, through the perhaps somewhat rose colored glasses of recollection, there seems to have been a bit more of an innocence about it than there is today. Still, it wasn't on.

On this one occasion I recall with amusement, my parents were away for several days. I had my girlfriend of the time, Kimmy (ah, Kimberley, the stories I could tell, but let's not digress) and my good, but rather permanently pot addled pal Dave over. We were sitting in the living room. This incidentally was one of those living rooms from the mid to late 20th century in where the furniture was all covered in plastic. I don't know if younger people today can imagine such a thing. Surely no one today does that. If you know of anyone who still has a living room that is treated as a museum and has all the soft furniture covered in plastic, do let me know in the comments section. I'd be fascinated to hear.

Alas, despite my best efforts, I digress. Well, there we are, the three of us, having only just recently imbibed from Dave's perpetual stash, splayed in our teenage languish over the plastic furniture. Then, horror of horrors, the distinctive sound of keys prodding at the front door lock shocked us out of our reveries. Well, all but Dave, in a state of infinite reverie, I expect. Even I though, taken off guard, was rather dazed and confused. Good old Kimmy, though, was her usual rockstar in action. Like a coiled cat she sprung from the couch and dashed the length of the living room, like some kind of crazy wizard, her arms flayed about with mystical speed, throwing open all the living room windows. She then flew like the wind back across the room, where, in a death-defying flourish, in one fell sweep, she scooped up Dave's various weed paraphernalia off the coffee table, proceeding to stick it inside his jacket.

Now, I'm not sure about this part, but I seem to recall that she then darted to the other end of the room and proceeded to exhale great gusts of blown air across the living room, sweeping the lingering weed odor out the gaping windows. Well, believe it or not, by the time the parents had made their way to the living room the three of us were standing in a row, with slightly improbable grins, something like the service staff of a mansion waiting to greet the new lady of the house upon her arrival.

Make no mistake, my parents were not cool and most certainly would have not been cool about me smoking weed, anywhere, much less in the house. And yet, somehow, nothing came of it. It was a more innocent time; is it possible they just didn't know the smell of weed? One way or another the occasion passed without incident. The only real perturbation seemed to be the prospect of us scuzzy loafers sprawling our disheveled selves over their plastic covered furniture. So, I can't say with any certainty if they just didn't recognize the weed odor or if, in fact, Kimmy superstar girlfriend of all time, did indeed save the day with her magical powers and somehow get rid of the weed smell.

But, unless you happen to know Kimmy (and if you do, please let me know, I'd like to get in touch with her again), you'll need more conventional methods for dealing with such challenges. That's why we're here at How to Get Rid of Weed Smell. We've got the lowdown for you on the gold standard of aromatic discretion.




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